Raising happy kids and being happy parents is not just an art. It’s a science.

Sociologist Christine Carter, Ph.D., of UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, helps translate the science of happiness for parents through her blog, online and in-person classes, and book, Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents (Ballantine Books, 2010). Carter lives in Berkeley with daughters, Molly, 9, and Fiona, 7.

She spoke with Bay Area Parent about the importance of gratitude and family dinner, not just on Thanksgiving, but every day. For more information, visit raisinghappiness.com.

Why is gratitude important?

I think parents often feel strongly that they want to raise a grateful child, instead of one who is entitled. Gratitude is one of the lynchpins to happiness. Being happy with what you have is a function of how grateful you feel for it. If you take things for granted, you’re more likely to feel disappointed that you didn’t get what you want than grateful for what you did get.

How do we instill it?

It’s really important for parents to model gratitude and appreciation. We also directly need to teach kids the skills they need to be grateful.

Pick something that works for you personally and for your family as a whole. They’re pretty much all variations on counting your blessings. The goal is to find a routine way to do it, embedded in the structure of your family, whether it’s going around the dinner table, every night before bed or just before school. For younger kids, it can be better simplified as “tell us a good thing.”

It’s important that we’re not telling kids what to feel thankful for or that they should be thankful. We’re giving them the opportunity to express gratitude.

We should try to model a real range of gratitude from the small, local – I’m thankful for the food on the table – to something really global, like, I’m thankful we have clean water.

How can busy families make time for family dinners?

I’m a single mom who works full-time, and we do it every night. I make it easy on myself by doing the prepping and chopping on weekends. In the Bay Area, there’s also so much good food out there. You can get good, high-quality food that takes two seconds to put together.

My kids really play a role in getting dinner on the table. They empty the dishwasher and help me prepare. I can get in and out of the grocery store, doing a full shopping for the week in 20 minutes because we each get a list and I time it, like a game.

Kids are so capable and love being a part. It feels much better to be an active participant than a passive actor who is entitled to your service.