Q: I absolutely hate helping my third grader with homework. She seems to have lots, and I’m not very good at/patient with helping her sort it out. We both end up frustrated, and I feel guilty. Any advice?

Teacher Ashley Evins answers …

The assumption is that students are unmotivated when they do not want to complete homework. However, the reality is that they are very motivated – motivated not to do it. Establishing a clear routine, creating a comfortable environment and communicating with teachers will alleviate unnecessary stress for both you and your child.

First, sit down with your child and plan out an after-school routine. As a classroom teacher, I always tell my parents who are struggling with homework issues that the last thing a child wants to do after six hours of school is to be forced to sit and do more work. Allowing students some decompression time is vital to alleviating unnecessary stress. I suggest allowing your child to play and/or relax for 30 minutes to an hour prior to starting homework. Provide your child with a healthy snack and plenty of water so she is able to focus on her assignment rather than her hunger.

Next, create a comfortable learning space to help reframe how your child approaches and views homework. Students need to feel comfortable when working on homework. Some children love to work at tables, while others find it too restricting. Also consider creating an incentive chart so your child can “earn” points towards an activity of her choice. Sitting down with your child to map out both short and long-term assignments will help your student begin to independently prioritize work.

Opening up communication with the teacher can provide your student with additional support, such as graphic organizers (outlines, bubble maps, etc.) that can compartmentalize large assignments into more manageable parts, that can help her complete her homework,. Also, if your student is struggling with a particular subject, check with your school to see what resources – such as study halls or free tutoring – are available.

Ashley Evins, M.Ed., is a middle and high school special education teacher at Westview School in West Los Angeles.