How can my husband and I find some couple time?
Q: I know this is a common theme, but with work and kids and busy schedules, my husband and I seem to have very little energy left for each other – even just to talk. Any fresh ideas on how to stay connected when all we want to do is plop down and watch TV before bed?
Angela Mohan, M.F.T., answers …
One of the most common misconceptions about relationships is that if a relationship is “good,” you shouldn’t have to work at it. That’s simply not the case. Being in a relationship takes work, no matter how you look at it. That being said, with all of the day’s must-dos, it can be hard to find the time and energy to truly take care of our relationships. Here is a “Top Five” list of little things you can do each day to help your love continue to blossom.
- Make a schedule. Don’t lose touch with your partner. Something as simple as enjoying a cup of coffee together can go a long way.
- Give a "lingering" hug: It's a fact! Hugging your partner for 20 seconds has been shown to have the potential to release oxytocin, the bonding hormone of security and safety.
- Investigate: What are your partner’s hopes and dreams and daily frustrations? Delving into these deeper issues can help with your emotional connection.
- Say I love you: Don’t forget to say I love you when leaving for the day, hanging up the phone or “just because."
- Remember your greetings and goodbyes: Mark your entrances and exits from one another by a hug or a kiss. (Or both!) Try that faithfully for the next week, and watch the difference it makes to you both.
Life is a balancing act, and between children, families, careers and social obligations, and frequently couples forget to place priority on their relationships. It is those seemingly little things that create stronger bonds with one another. Make time for them – it will do wonders for your relationship!
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Angela Mohan is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice in Ventura. Find her at www.TherapistFinder.com.