Is There Really Sex After Baby?

Couple and New BabyYes! But the first few weeks after the birth of your baby may be a blur. Sex may not be on your radar screen – at least not on hers.

In one study, 80 percent of new moms said their sex life deteriorated mainly because they were just too tired to make love. Then comes the six-week checkup. The father? He may be likened to a caged bull, all ready to go! Other new Dads, after observing the birth process, may have different feelings and see his partner now as a “birthing machine” and not as sexy as she was in her pre-pregnant state.

And what about Mom? Her body has been through a very traumatic experience and she just might not be as eager to resume sex. To her it seems that everyone wants something from her. The baby is mauling and sucking on her; she is exhausted; her body hurts.

While every couple is unique, the general rule of thumb is to wait six weeks to resume sex. And, even then, it’s important to be sensitive to mom’s feelings. She needs to know that dad finds her attractive and she needs a little romance. It’s a great time for backrubs and massages. Just holding hands and cuddling can get her in the mood.

While the six-week measure may signal when her body is recovered enough physically to resume sex, it may take longer for mom to regain her pre-pregnancy desires. According to one survey, 62 percent of women regained their former level of sexual desire in less than three months after having a baby, yet 22 percent reported it taking more than nine months. So be patient and keep communicating.

Read more about What New Parents Can Do to Keep Intimacy Alive

--Claudia Arp and David Arp