How To Deal: Teen & Tween Drama Queens

by Vanessa Van Petten

Do you have a teen or tween drama queen or king? You would know if you do—they love to be the center of attention, love to boss around play dates and always try to dictate the activity of the day.

Here are some great ways to deal with the drama queen (or king) in your home:

1. Democracy Rules

Drama queens are at their mightiest when in a pair. Encourage more group and team activities where everyone has to work together and then talk to your child afterwards about how great it felt to have everyone working together.

2. Don’t Let Them Negotiate

Drama queens can be particularly persuasive when they do not get their way. Don’t teach them that negotiating with you or other adults is ok. If they are arguing with you don’t allow excuses or barter with them, this is engaging and dramatic and often feeds a drama queens need to be the center of attention.

3. Consequences for Being Un-Kind

It is very important to be kind to others and often drama queens or bossy kids do not take into consideration other’s feelings. If the drama gets out of control make sure your child knows that they might be hurting someone else.

4. Reward Un-Drama

When your child is being particularly calm and relaxed tell them how awesome you think they are doing. Give them attention for not-hogging attention. This is a great way to teach kids and teens that the best kind of attention isn’t the bad kind!

Drama queens and kings can be really fun, extroverted kids and teens. Make sure you are letting them be authentic in who they are as long as those around them appreciate it as well, and that they're not stepping on the toes of their teachers or peers. 


Vanessa Van Petten is the creator of, a parenting website written from the teen perspective to help parents understand them. She is also the author of the parenting book, “Do I Get My Allowance Before or After I’m Grounded?”