You Can Teach Your Children to Be Better Listeners

By Susan K. Perry

“How many times have I told you that?”

“Weren’t you listening?”

“Pay attention!”

In many households, sentences like these are heard all too often. The skill of listening is much more crucial, and usually given much less positive attention, than it deserves. After all, listening accounts for more than half of the communication activity in the workplace, according to the International Listening Association, as well as playing a major role in our personal and social lives. Those who listen well learn more effectively and have better relationships throughout their lives. We learned to hear as infants, but anyone can learn to listen better.

You can teach your child to listen carefully by being a good listener yourself. The modern drive to multitask often gets in the way of genuine listening. For starters, stop what you’re doing and face your child when she is speaking to you, rather than only giving her half your attention. Try to minimize the distractions in your home (such as a radio or TV that’s always on) to make listening less of a struggle.

The following games (ages are only rough estimates) can help children develop their listening skills and are lots of fun:

For Ages 2 to 5

Simon Says – The rule for this classic children’s game is simple: the leader gives instructions, but followers can only obey if the order is preceded by “Simon says.” Thus “Simon says ‘hop on one foot’” should be obeyed, but “Touch your nose” should be ignored. Try making silly suggestions to your preschooler, such as “Simon says ‘stick your tongue out at me.’” As your child gets better at listening well, start complicating the instructions, such as, “Simon says ‘tap your left elbow with your thumb two times.’”