Don’t send bad messages about body image. “Are you talking about your own butt, your own size? Are you saying you feel fat? “ says Grefe. “Fat is not a feeling. We have to get rid of some of that jargon.”

Learn about different body types, healthy weight ranges and growth changes. During puberty, for example, girls are supposed to put on more weight to support their reproductive systems.

If your child asks if she is fat, don’t evade the question. Find out why she’s asking. Are other kids teasing her? Is she comparing herself to magazine models? Once you understand what’s behind the question, you can address it. Let kids know that everyone is shaped differently, that models aren’t always what they appear to be. Give them advice for handling teasing (such as calmly ignoring it until the teaser gives up).

If your child does have a weight problem, be truthful and matter-of-fact, says Satter. Approach the subject in a loving way; focus on your concern for the child’s health over a lifetime, not his weight at this moment.

Just remember, notes Berg, 85 percent of American children have no weight problem at all. A preoccupation with weight can send the wrong message, especially when most kids simply need well-rounded, healthy meals and regular physical activity.

Resources

Books
These books guide parents to change their whole family’s lifestyle – with a positive approach to eating and exercise – to help an overweight child.

Ending the Food Fight: Guide Your Child to a Healthy Weight in a Fast Food/Fake Food World, by David Ludwig, M.D., Ph.D., with Suzanne Rostler, M.S., R.D., Houghton Mifflin Co., 2007.

Underage and Overweight: Our Childhood Obesity Crisis – What Every Family Needs to Know, by Francie Berg, Hatherleigh Press, 2005.

Your Child’s Weight: Helping Without Harming, by Ellyn Satter, Kelcy Press, 2005.

Organizations

Ellyn Satter Associates – Gives tips for solving kids’ eating issues.

Healthy Weight Network  – Offers research, tips and resources on weight issues.

National Association of Eating Disorders – Provides information, resources and support for people with eating disorders and their loved ones.

Related Reading:

Eating Disorders: A Hidden Epidemic

The Supermodel’s Secret Struggle with an Eating Disorder

Holiday Festivities Can Reveal Eating Disorders: 8 Questions to Ask

Deirdre Wilson is a senior editor with Dominion Parenting Media.