When Your Parents Are Your Kids’ Day-Care Providers

By Marie Sherlock

To Grandmother’s House We Go

Carol Cordello works full-time as a teacher. But instead of lugging her 6-year-old son, Matthew, across town each morning for a tearful good-bye at a day-care center, she throws him a kiss as she walks out the door. She doesn’t worry about whether Matthew is being nurtured and loved or about whether he’s getting enough attention or having fun. She knows that he’s receiving all of these things, and much more.

No, Cordello isn’t paying big bucks for a professional, live-in nanny. Matthew’s day-care provider is “Grandpa Charlie,” Cordello’s father. Matthew’s grandfather and grandmother have been his sole day-care providers since Matthew was born. His grandmother passed away last December, but Grandpa Charlie continues to care for Matthew.

The Cordellos live on the upper floor of a two-family house that they purchased with Matthew’s grandparents in 1996. The grandparents moved into the first floor apartment shortly after Matthew was born, specifically to provide care for him. No money has ever changed hands.

The grandparents’ decision to help out with their only grandchild, “was completely voluntarily, never paid,” Cordello says. “It has worked out so well.”

This family is part of “an increasing phenomenon,” according to Dr. Arthur Kornhaber, the founder and president of The Foundation for Grandparenting, a national organization that advocates for and supports grandparents. Kornhaber attributes the growth in these arrangements to a greater need among parents, with more mothers working, and grandparents being more available, as well as living longer.