When Children Say ‘That’s Not Fair’

By Ann Pelo and Fran Davidson





 
From an early age, children develop feelings about what is fair or unfair – whether it’s other children not sharing toys, litter in the park or a homeless person they see on the street. Families and teachers can build on these feelings to help young kids think about fairness in increasingly mature ways. We can also help them develop an understanding of their role in the communities around them, and their ability to change their communities for the better.


We can help young children learn how to:


• interact with respect and kindness

• understand and respond to one another’s feelings and ideas


• resolve conflicts


• divide materials fairly


Keeping our own values in mind and knowing that young children react differently than adults, we teach children how to respond when they are treated unfairly or hurtfully, and when they see someone else mistreated.


These lessons can come easily, because young children notice things that seem unfair, and they have strong feelings about them. Sometimes they see unfairness that is simple and personal, like a child being left out of a game or getting a smaller piece of cake. Other times, children find unfairness in a broader context, like a playground covered with broken glass or people being treated differently because of their skin color or their physical abilities.


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