What Happened to My Life? A New Baby Changes Everything

“During those first six to eight weeks, a mom’s basic need for food and sleep is pitted against her baby’s needs. It’s a really hard time.” – Dr. Diana Dell, Ob/Gyn and psychiatriist

At first blush, the birth or adoption of a child is often met with overwhelming joy, excitement and fulfillment. But, early in the transition to parenthood – whether with one’s first child or not – emotions can become mixed. Feelings of chronic exhaustion, physical discomfort after delivery, constant caretaking demands, loss of independence and lack of control over one’s schedule can take their toll.

One mom reported that as she sat in the kitchen during a heat wave with her 1-week-old baby girl, a thought flashed through her mind of her putting the baby in the refrigerator for a minute to get a break from the incessant crying. “I was terrified that such a thought would even enter my mind,” she confessed. “I loved my baby and I knew I wouldn’t do anything to hurt her, but I thought I was going nuts. I scared myself.”“Lots of new moms I see think they’re going crazy,” says Dr. Diana Dell, an obstetrician/gynecologist and psychiatrist at Duke University Medical Center.

"But during those first six to eight weeks, a mom’s basic need for food and sleep is pitted against her baby’s needs,” she says.

"It’s a really hard time: the mom suffers sleep deprivation, outside help starts to dwindle, dad goes back to work and, many times, mom watches longingly as he leaves, wishing she could go back to her old life, too. But when the baby starts to smile at about six weeks, the recognition and response to her makes it easier for a new mom to feel needed and connected to her baby."