Understanding the Connection Between Sleep & Behavior

There’s a lot more to a good night’s sleep for your child than just putting him to bed. Setting a bedtime routine, avoiding or being aware of and prepared for disruptions, and using strategies to calm a child are all part of the quest for a good night’s sleep.

By Mary Sheedy Kurcinka

On a recent Saturday evening, I watched as excited families paraded into a packed stadium for a high school playoff game. Babies gazed wide-eyed at the bright lights, schoolchildren raced up the steps of the bleachers, and teens took off to join equally giddy friends. Everyone was having a wonderful time. There was just one problem. That game would not end until 11 p.m., and every family's sleep schedule would be thrown wildly off track.

Come Monday morning, how many of these parents would make the connection when their baby constantly fussed, their 8-year-old had a meltdown over getting dressed, and their 15-year-old wouldn't get out of bed? Would they, as I once did, miss the connection and instead react impatiently - frustrated with the "misbehavior" - and never realize that their children were simply not getting enough sleep.

Years of working with families whose children were "misbehaving" have convinced me that the real culprit is often simply lack of sleep. Once parents learn to recognize the connection between sleep and behavior, and the symptoms of sleep deprivation in their children, they can implement measures that dramatically improve family life.

The 3 T's of Good Sleep

To experience deep restorative sleep, a child's brain needs to know it is time to sleep. And his body needs to be calm enough to sleep. Achieving these goals is entirely possible if parents understand three key factors - tension, time and temperament - and how each relates to sleep.

Tension - Your child has to feel calm and safe. Many children cannot sleep because their bodies are in a state of high alert at bedtime. A skipped nap, an anticipated event, a change in schedule, family tension - all of these things can throw a child into alert. When this happens, extra calming measures are needed throughout the day.

In fact, a good night's sleep begins in the morning! Begin your child's day with a sense of calm and loving connection. Greet him warmly when he rises and leave time for an unhurried family breakfast. Such interactions actually slow heart and pulse rates, and buffer against the day's stresses.