Toddler on the Loose!

Great excitement fills the room. "Go," people shout. "Look, she’s walking!"

Plop! She falls, and suddenly not a sound is heard while she gets up again and this time wobbles forward until she is swooped up into her mother’s arms, grinning from ear to ear and wallowing in the enveloping pride that embraces her.

It’s a landmark day for this toddler-to-be and her parents – but also for the preschool-aged sibling watching quietly from the sidelines, perhaps still unaware of the upcoming struggle.

The preschooler would be better prepared for the next few months if an alarm went off in her head that said, "The terror is mobile! Look out for your space and stuff!" But since such a warning is not built-in, parents need to step in and help older children cope with the baby’s newfound mobility and all that it represents.

The preschooler’s old strategies for protecting her space and toys from her little sister are now useless. Toys are grabbed, structures are destroyed, treasures are made soggy by teething gums. The preschooler’s previous tactics –- turning around, walking away, holding the object to her chest and running to another room –- no longer work. A wailing baby is now running right behind her.

So the preschooler resorts to yelling, crying, shrieking or hitting. And parents are heard to complain, "She’s become so aggressive lately."

It’s Normal

The preschooler’s change in behavior may be confusing to parents, since -– in their minds –- there may be no major change at home that could be stressful to this child. In fact, parents often are feeling comfortable with the new addition to their family by now and at ease with the older child’s adjustment to the new sibling. Indeed, this is a stage when the family may be heaving a sigh of relief that the preschooler has managed the new sibling’s arrival so well.

Taken aback by this change in behavior, parents may alert the child’s preschool teachers or day-care providers, who may note the same trend of behavior in the classroom. When the child’s sense of security at home is threatened, she becomes much more sensitive to perceived threats at school.