The TV Challenge

The challenge arrived in my mailbox. The gauntlet was thrown.

I tried to ignore it. After all, each year I would receive the same dare. "Turn off your television!" the words mocked me. "Turn on to life!"

Well, I usually think my life was "on" enough, but the challenge did make me think. After all, the facts are indisputable, and pretty scary besides. "Maybe we should think about this turn-off thing," I said, mostly to myself. "According to the TV-Turnoff Network, the average American watches over four hours a day. I think we do that in our sleep!"

"Does this mean we’re finally above average on something?" one of my sons called in from the kitchen. Hmmm, could be. Why squelch a good thing? I folded the paper in half, and put in on the desk for later consideration (after all, Friends was coming on).

That paper remained on my desk -- out of sight, out of mind -- but the challenge nagged at me. While I was hunting for a missing spelling list, which should have been in the backpack, but maybe was left on my desk when someone was distracted by a Scooby Doo video game, I found the dare again. "Is this it?" I asked, unfolding the paper.

"Turn off your television! Turn on to life!" The words stared me down (but they weren’t the words we were looking for, so I put them aside.)

Okay, so maybe National Turn Off Television Week is a good idea -- if you’re living near Disneyland, or without electricity, or (especially) childless. But I couldn’t imagine Courtney going a week without America’s Most Wanted (which explains a lot). And what would Max do if he couldn’t watch Rugrats? After all, it was the only time he sat still!

And, to be honest, I would find the whole thing difficult myself. The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is turn on the TV, mostly because there is not a single clock in my house that shows the accurate time. You know that old trick about setting your clock ahead a couple of minutes, so you’re never late? Well, I must have been extremely tardy in a previous life, because all the clocks in my house are set ahead -- anywhere from fifteen minutes (the clock on the computer) to an hour and a half (my alarm clock).

But this little trick hasn’t helped the lateness problem. Instead, it fed into my TV dependency. I turn on a news program first thing to get the accurate time (and thank goodness, Charlie Gibson comes through for me…"Good morning, America! It’s six minutes after seven," he’ll chirp, as my alarm clock, blinking 8:36, goes off.) I can’t imagine getting to work on time without Charlie’s assistance.

Actually, I did do a "TV-less" period once -- but it was a long time ago. I was in high school, and I spent the week babysitting for a reporter, a single mom who vowed that her daughter would never be influenced by that demon television.