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The Touch Taboo: Dads and Daughters
How Dads Can Overcome Awkwardness and Maintain Closeness with Their Maturing Daughters
“My Dad and I were really close when I was a kid; we were our own special team. But when I started developing breasts, it seemed like he pulled away completely. I couldn’t figure out why he cut me off, and I kept trying to reach out to him, but no dice. So, I started acting out, even doing irresponsible sexual things. But none of it seemed to get his attention. He left me out in the cold and was never close to me again. I don’t think we’ll ever be close because, 15 years later, I’m still really pissed off at him for abandoning me.”
– Katie, now 30
“My Dad and I were really close when I was a kid; we were our own special team. But when I started developing breasts, it seemed like he pulled away completely. I couldn’t figure out why he cut me off, and I kept trying to reach out to him, but no dice. So, I started acting out, even doing irresponsible sexual things. But none of it seemed to get his attention. He left me out in the cold and was never close to me again. I don’t think we’ll ever be close because, 15 years later, I’m still really pissed off at him for abandoning me.”
– Katie, now 30
“How can I keep hugging or touching her now that she’s an adolescent and has developed? Won’t my wife, or other people, or my daughter think I’m a pervert if I hold her close? Sometimes, brushing by me, her breast will touch my elbow or something, and I jump; it’s like I can’t let her touch me even by accident, because she – or someone – will think I’m doing something wrong.”
– Father of adolescent girl
As I travel the country speaking and learning about father-daughter relationships, I hear a disturbing number of stories like these.
Want to stay close to you growing daughter? |
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