The Rules for Romance in Teen Dating

You knew the day would come. Your pig-tailed tomboy lost her baby fat and bears a dangerous resemblance to Britney Spears. Or your Little Leaguer smells suspiciously like dad’s cologne and actually cares about his clothes. Your kids are ready to date. But how do you give them their freedom without losing some semblance of control? Experts on teen behavior weigh in with advice on how to listen, how to back off and how to set boundaries.

In elementary school, dating is rarely more than a gussied up play-date. By middle school, it's something to do to bug your parents. And by high school, many couples sustain dating that lasts longer than the average college relationship. From precocious puppy love in fourth grade to serious intimacy in high school, there are few topics that raise more anxiety questions for parents than dating.

"Kids really need our support to engage in dating," said Dr. Lynn Ponton, M.D., a University of California, San Francisco child psychiatrist and author of the book, The Sex Lives of Teenagers: Revealing the Secret World of Adolescent Boys and Girls (Plume, $13). "It's real important that kids date. It builds social skills, it helps lessen isolation and it helps them relate to people … such as how to be intimate and how to be friends before having sex."