The AD/HD Parent

We’ve heard a lot about kids with ADD or AD/HD, but what about parents who suffer from an attention disorder? Here’s a look at how it affects moms and dads and how they cope.

By Janet Strassman Perlmutter

What parent doesn’t sometimes feel muddled, forgetful, overwhelmed or even irritable in the face of parenting?

We manage children’s schedules, as well as our own. We prepare meals amid ringing phones, questions about homework and maybe a skirmish or two over whose turn it is at the computer. And we juggle to fit in the never-ending chores of running a household – food shopping, paying bills, laundry, lawn care and so much more. It’s normal to feel flustered – or even flooded – in light of all that, isn’t it?

Do you ever wonder if your disorganization or distractedness is an attention deficit disorder? Wait a minute! That’s a kid’s issue … right?

The fact is, there are lots of misconceptions about ADD, formally known as attention deficit/hyperactive disorder (AD/HD). Among those fallacies is that it only affects children.

Research conducted internationally by the World Health Organization and regionally by Russell Barkley, Ph.D., author of Taking Charge of ADHD, both came to the same conclusion: AD/HD, originally understood as a childhood disorder, is found in one in 20 adults. Separate studies show that if you have a child with AD/HD, there’s a more than one-in-four chance that you have it, too.

How Can You Tell?

Before you turn the page, thinking “Well, I’m not hyperactive,” a bit of explaining is in order regarding the term itself. Attention deficit/hyperactive disorder is a complicated name, and not very descriptive for all its wordiness. Not all those diagnosed with AD/HD have the hyperactive type of the disorder. And not all experts agree that the disorganization and distractability, hallmarks of the syndrome, are due to inattention. Some experts suggest it is over-attentiveness to small details that underlies this difficulty.

Barkley points out that while the criteria for evaluating AD/HD is the same in adults as in children, the appearance differs in some ways by virtue of their different stages in life. With young kids, he explains, a description of impulsivity and hyperactivity might be “jumps on furniture,” whereas with adults you see more driving accidents.