Talking to Kids About Terrorism

The pictures broadcast in the early hours of Tuesday were startling. That they were also "live" made them beyond belief. That one attack came right after another took the experience into the surreal.

It is not an exaggeration to say that an entire nation has been riveted to its TV sets since roughly 9am EDT, Tuesday morning. Unfortunately, many of those viewers have been our children, who are learning a horrifying lesson on terrorism, in vivid Technicolor. What is difficult for the adult mind to fathom, is surely impossible for a child. So, as their questions begin, our biggest question as parents is, how do we discuss this with them?

Child Psychologist Amy Feld stresses, "An open dialogue with your children is essential. For a child, the questions are often scarier than the answers they receive. Even if the best you can offer is ‘I don’t know, ’ they need to feel secure in asking the question." And clinical & medical psychologist Michael D. Connor concurs, "In one violent or traumatic moment the world can become unpredictable, dangerous and frightening. Whether it is a small-town occurrence or a national one as seen today, it is important to reassure your children that they are safe."

He suggests, "Take time to talk about the events, especially as their thoughts and feelings arise. They may have questions right away, or they may surface many days later. Listen carefully. Reassure them they are okay and just be with them. Don't avoid regular activities. Especially for younger children, routine is essential to their sense of security."

Routine for most children on a weekday revolves around attending school. While many parents decided to keep their children home today, experienced school principal, Steven Hill of Oregon points out that may not be in the best interest of the child. "A parent’s natural reaction to an incident of this magnitude is to pull their children closer, yet this may serve to trouble the child even more. Allowing the child to go about their routine and be with their friends is important. All schools have a crisis plan that goes into effect during these times to help students deal with the emotions and discuss the questions that may arise."

He also brings up a question posed to him by a concerned parent, "I was asked if we were going to run an emergency drill today. Honestly, that is the last thing we would do to the children. It would only serve to traumatize them unnecessarily."