Survive the Meltdowns of Kids Ages 2-5

By Georgia Orcutt

Michelle Nicholasen quickly learned more than many parents ever do about the exasperating behavior of 2-to-5-year olds. Her five kids arrived in rapid succession, with triplets in the middle. At one point, she had five under age 5!

To keep herself sane through the complicated daily-life dynamics that often included at least one or more children melting down at the same time, she started making lists of the situations that came up. An award-winning filmmaker B.C. (before children), the journalist in her wanted to find solutions for dealing with each drama. (Once, for example, as her youngest and oldest child needed her attention in the kitchen, a new nanny yelled down the stairs that all three triplets were pooping in the bathtub.)

Nicholasen found her mentor in 72-yearold Barbara O’Neal, a mother and grandmother who is the educational director of the Arlington (Massachusetts) Children’s Center. Their collaboration led to their book I Brake for Meltdowns, (Da Capo Press, 2008). The book includes an annotated list of all the frustrating things little kids do, from losing it in the supermarket to refusing to get dressed, with hundreds of stops in between, plus step-by-step advice for keeping your cool and handling each situation.

1. How did you and Barbara come to write this book together?

Barbara has been teaching for 32 years at my kids’ preschool. I was impressed by how she spoke to children and always knew what to say. And I was amazed at all the things she never made a big deal about – how evenkeeled she was. Like poetry in motion. I wanted to be around her more. And I started to wonder: When she retires, where will her wisdom be? She considers it part of her job to talk with parents outside of school. So we met for lunch every Friday, when the school is closed. I would role play, acting out things my kids had said and done, and Barbara would provide the solutions. She had an answer for just about everything, but she had trouble scaling up for the number of little kids in my family.When you’re dealing with five kids at once, time-outs won’t work!

2. Why does the book concentrate only on kids ages 2-5?