Stress, Conflict and Kids: How to Use Negotiation Tactics to Promote Family Harmony

By Scott Brown

If you are a typical parent today, you probably have more stress in your life than you would like. Although many of us assume that work is the source of most stress, for parents at least, the most frequent source of stress is conflict with their children.





Effective Stress Reduction Strategies

Science has taught us much about stress and how to manage it effectively:
  • Deep breathing helps rid the body of stress hormones.
  • Regular exercise helps reduce stress and regulate our reactions.
  • Getting enough sleep enables us to better cope with stress.
  • Consistent eating patterns and a healthy diet can help avoid irregular blood sugar levels that contribute to stress.

    Perhaps most important, prepare yourself in advance for the most frequent conflicts, the ones you can expect every week. Once you have a plan for negotiating calmly and effectively, you won't react so negatively.

    • Parents report that arguments with children over discipline, homework or chores account for nearly one quarter of all stressful events - more than all work-related stressors combined. In fact, the stress related to conflicts with children is more than twice as common as any other single source of stress.

    Although some parents have learned to breathe deeply and manage their stress, many of us feel drained and worn out after a day of arguments over clothes, snacks, chores, TV and sibling conflict. As a parenting educator, I repeatedly hear firsthand stories of parents' stress-inducing interactions with their children.

    One seminar participant told me, "When I hear my daughter come home, sometimes I go in the bathroom and close the door. I can't stand the arguments." The stress of regular conflict made family life nearly unbearable for this mother. It's little wonder that parent-child conflict is a leading indicator of overall satisfaction with family life.

    Workplace and marital stress often exacerbate the problem. A recent study at Cornell University found that fathers who experience stress at work find themselves more than twice as likely as those who don't to engage in stressful arguments with their children. And, when parents argue with each other, they are three times more likely to have conflict with their children.

    Stress Hurts Adults and Kids

    Articles Tools

    Top