Preparing Siblings for a New Baby

For older children, the arrival of a baby brother or sister means they will have to learn to share their toys, other belongings and their parents. This is not always easy for them, but there are things parents can do right from the start to ease the transition and set the stage for positive sibling relations.

Here are some developmental factors to keep in mind:

• Two- to 3-year-olds can be quite self-absorbed and into the “mine” stage. They have a tendency to be inflexible, domineering and resistant to change.

• Four-year-olds are more social and verbal. They aren’t as clingy, since they’re making friends and there are more diversions.

• Five- and 6-year-olds are more independent of their parents.

• Pre-adolescents may have a difficult time with a new baby because they are going through so much change in their own development.

No matter what the age, parents need to acknowledge beforehand that kids have conflicting feelings about the prospect of a new sibling and that those feelings are normal.

Preparing for Change

• Tell your older child about the events leading up to his or her birth and how excited you were. Look at the child’s baby photos or videos.

• Take your child to some of your prenatal doctor appointments. Let him listen to the baby’s heartbeat.

• Enroll your child in a sibling class.

• Make any necessary changes in family or home life before the baby arrives, including having your child spend more time with Dad and changing bedrooms if necessary. Tell an older child that she’s moving out of her crib because she’s growing up, not because the baby is coming and you need the crib.