Playgroup Etiquette for Moms and Their Children

By Vida Foubister

By the sounds of it, the moms and babies at the first playgroup Stacey Steeg hosted literally had a ball with the food she served. "I had the absolute wrong menu," admits the Thornwood mother of twins. "I put out grapes, the number one choking hazard; cheddar cheese sticks, cheddar meaning orange; and liters of cola with plastic cups and ice."

Hours later, she found herself staring at grapes that had been crushed into her carpet and orange cheddar cheese streaked "like Zorro" all over her black and white chairs. There was also a spattering of soda here and there. "It’s a huge mistake to have any kind of colored liquid," says Steeg, who is president of the Putnam/Westchester (NY) Mothers of Multiples Support Group. "Now I only serve dry things and very neat things, like pretzels, graham cracker sticks and bottles of water."

Ground Rules

It’s not surprising that a big mess comes along with hosting a group of small children and their mothers. The important thing is for the mothers in the playgroup to agree up front how they’re going to handle it. Lynda Merchant, director of the Mamaroneck Community Nursery School , recommends "creating some ground rules so that nobody feels uncomfortable."

"It’s such a fragile relationship to start out with," adds Sunny Park Suh, co-president of the Larchmont Newcomers’ Club, which organizes playgroups. "You’re all so eager to get along that people might be reluctant to rock the boat."