Parenthood's Guide to Toilet Training

Toilet training is one issue that can leave parents feeling out of control—which, in fact, they are. The bottom line is that a child is ready when he or she is ready, and forcing readiness can prove futile. Pushing a child to use the toilet before they are ready will only delay the process and frustrate everyone involved.

Getting Started
Conflicting messages complicate matters for parents these days. Most day-care centers and preschools require toilet training by age 3. However, not all children are ready to be trained at this age, which can lead to great frustration for the parents and the child. It can also trigger the beginning of a control issue that can delay the process even more. At the same time, diaper companies are making diapers even larger for older children and encouraging parents to "wait as long as it takes for your child to be ready."

So, when should a child be toilet trained and how? "There are as many methods to potty training as there are pediatricians," says Dr. Herschel Lessin, medical director of the Children's Medical Group and a pediatrician at Vassar Brothers Hospital in Poughkeepsie, N.Y. "The fact is that most children are not ready for toilet training until age 2, and some may even near the age of 4 before they are ready. My best advice is to watch your child for signs of readiness and then begin slowly."

According to Dr. Lessin, there are two components to readiness. "First, there is biological readiness. This means that your child can physically control their bladder and stay dry for a few hours at a time. Most children are biologically ready by age 2 to 2 1/2, but, of course, that is only half the battle. The other half of the equation is psychological readiness. The child must be able to tell the difference between "I feel the need to go," "I need to go right now" and "I just went." He must be able to recognize the feeling of a full bladder before toilet training success will occur."