Over-Scheduled Children

When Kids Have Too Much to Do, They May Need Time to Do Nothing

By Karyn Miller-Medzon

Nancy Dowling and Bob Bondaryk have busy kids. The older two, Elizabeth, 11, and Matt, 8, arrive at school by 7:30 a.m. for their music lessons. After school, they have religious education and orchestra practice. On weekends, they take swimming lessons at the Y and participate in seasonal sports like soccer and baseball. Elizabeth also takes horseback riding lessons, while Matt plays chess.

Starting this year, 5-year-old Samantha will join her older siblings on the fast track. She'll start to learn an instrument (she's chosen the violin) and take swimming lessons as well.

"Indeed," Dowling says, "our kids are intensely scheduled."

Dowling, like parents around the city, feels strongly about exposing her children to different types of activities, new experiences and new people. She feels comfortable knowing where her children are, what they're doing and with whom.

But child development experts have mixed feelings. While they agree there are significant benefits to involving children in activities, some worry the intensity of children's scheduling detracts from the "down time" they need to explore the world on their own terms.

At the same time, they recognize that today's society is more complex than it was 25, 35 or 50 years ago. Not only do scheduled activities provide care for children when mom and dad go off to work, but they also give parents the security of knowing their child is off the street, learning something useful and hanging out with the "right" crowd.

The dilemma - for parents and experts alike - is how to meet everyone's needs.

The "Wrong" Reasons

"It's not a bad thing to care about your children and want them to be stimulated and programmed into activities for which they have potential," says educational consultant Nanci Goldman. "It's a problem if the parents are doing it for other reasons."

Among those reasons is the desire to see their children do things parents wish they themselves could be doing, or using the activities solely as baby-sitting instruments.