Myths and Facts About Attachment Parenting

Myth: Attachment parenting means never putting your child down, right?

Reality: Attachment parenting encourages the use of slings or soft carriers that give a child access to the movement and closeness of the parent’s body. Advocates do not suggest that an infant should never be put down. Attachment parenting is about being responsive to a child’s needs for closeness, not about thwarting their natural drive toward independence. Children need a firm foundation of closeness before authentic, age-appropriate independence can occur.

Myth: What is the big deal about using baby gadgets (plastic carriers, swings, playpens, etc.)?

Reality: Babies are born with a biological need for human closeness and interaction. The more parents rely on things like swings and infant seats, the less time they spend actually holding and interacting with the baby. Gadgets can be helpful when used sparingly, but the key is to avoid over-using them when a baby really wants you.

Myth: My child will be spoiled if I always respond to his cries and hold him a lot.

Reality: Responding to a baby’s cries and holding him will not spoil him. A rapid, appropriate response tells the child that the parent takes his needs seriously and will help him manage his distress. Responding to a child’s cries lays a critical foundation for trust and communication.

Myth:If a child sleeps in our bed, she will never leave.

Reality:The experience of many co-sleeping parents has not proven this to be true. Depending on the child’s temperament, most children naturally leave the parents’ bed around 2 or 3 years of age. There are many ways to adapt to the changing sleep needs of family members: Some families place an infant in a co-sleeper attached to the side of the bed or have a toddler in a crib nearby in the same room. The key is being responsive to a child’s need for a parent’s presence and not rushing him or her into self-reliance too soon.

Myth: Co-sleeping is more dangerous than sleeping in a crib.

Reality: Co-sleeping has not been proven to be any more dangerous to infants than sleeping alone in a crib. Studies suggesting that co-sleeping is dangerous have been criticized for their poor methodologies. If parents follow certain safety guidelines, co-sleeping is a safe and beneficial environment for both infant and parent. Parents should not co-sleep with their infants if they smoke, drink or take drugs (even prescription medications that may cause drowsiness); become overly fatigued; or have a waterbed, very soft mattress or a lot of fluffy bedding.

Myth: Attachment parenting means nursing indefinitely.