Motivating Your Underachiever

Sometimes children are unmotivated because they’re bored in school; they may need to do more hands-on work. Competition in the classroom may also be to blame, particularly if a child decides not to try rather than be repeatedly disappointed when other students fare better.

Some parents offer money or other incentives in an effort to motivate their children’s school performance. But experts are divided on whether this is a good idea.

Incentives of any kind, including good grades or punishment for poor performance, only work in the short run, argues Alfie Kohn, author of Punished by Rewards, a book on motivation. He maintains that rewards can actually do lasting harm.

“You can make a child do something by bribes and threats, but you can’t create an interest in doing it by force,” he says. “If the student is doing the homework, passing the tests, pleasing the parent and jumping through the hoops – but all for the wrong reasons – then you have a problem.”

Some experts, including noted Harvard psychologist Bob Brooks, point to the importance of parents believing in their kids and their abilities. Children who realize it makes a difference if they try hard will become more motivated.

Brooks advises parents to:

Choose natural consequences when possible. If a child refuses to prepare for a test, stop nagging and allow him to face the consequences – even if it means a failing grade. By choosing a natural consequence, parents allow the child’s actions to cause a consequence. The only caution here is that you have to know that your children are capable of doing the tasks you’re allowing them to fail at. If your child has a learning disability, then pulling back academic support is not the best way to help.

See also:

Identifying Learning Disabilities What to watch for at different ages

When Your Child is Bored at School