I'm Asking Dad!

By Jim McGaw<

Do dads do it differently?

By now, we know about the benefits that active fathers bring to their children’s lives. But do dads really parent so differently than moms when it comes to doling out advice or tending to their children’s problems? Often times, yes, but whether it’s a matter of mere gender is up for debate.

Marc and Roger Rousseau are brothers who live within 10 minutes of each other. But geography and a sibling relationship aren’t the only things they have in common. Between them, they’re raising five girls, ranging in age from 10 to 16, and the issues they confront as fathers aren’t always sugar, spice and everything nice.

It’s not always smooth sailing for fathers of boys, either. Jim Merkey recalls the time he was put on the spot when a bully kicked his son during a football game.

And Henry Biller remembers trying to help his young son when it became apparent that prejudice kept one of the boy’s best friends from being invited to a birthday party.

Welcome to fathering in the 21st century, where dads are hardly isolated from the day-to-day child-rearing problems of bullies and cliques, academic troubles, body changes, female hormones and dating. As moms and dads continue to have more equal and involved parenting roles than in the past, fathers handle just as many of their children’s “growing pains” as mothers do. And the many benefits of having a strong, involved father figure – including higher self-esteem, girls who exceed at math and children with fewer gender stereotypes – have been well-documented.

We know from child development experts how fathers react differently to infants and toddlers: they’re more likely to let their children explore and take risks, for example. But what about when kids get older and start facing problems with peers, academics or dating? Do fathers give their children different advice, support or comfort than mothers? In many cases, definitely. But just how much of a role gender plays in those differences is up for debate.