"font-family: Verdana;">Again, child-development experts say it comes down to the individual child’s readiness and, of course, teaching the child about the safety issues involved.

"font-family: Verdana;">“I always go back to the fundamentals of child development,” says David Elkind, Ph.D., a renowned child-development expert and author of the landmark book The Hurried Child.. “Brain research confirms that young adolescents, ages 12 to 14, are not good at decision-making. They respond more emotionally. Understanding that, you want to be a little more thoughtful about what to allow them to do.”

"font-family: Verdana;">Kenneth Ginsburg, M.D., a specialist in adolescent medicine at The Children’s Hospital in Philadelphia, also points out the differences in emotional maturity between boys and girls at this age. “Generally, girls mature about two years faster than boys, on average. Girls really are more pre-teenagers when a lot of boys at this age are still very much little boys.”

"font-family: Verdana;">Ginsburg, the co-author of “But I’m Almost 13!”An Action Plan for Raising a Responsible Adolescent , believes in giving a ’tween increased independence while also providing a safety net that allows the child to save face while getting out of an uncomfortable or risky situation.

"font-family: Verdana;">When your ’tween asks for specific independence, Ginsburg says, “Ask yourself, ‘What is right for my child? Is he or she prepared? Have I put into place a safety net so that I really know he or she is capable of acting responsibly with the limits I have set?”

"font-family: Verdana;">If you aren’t entirely comfortable with a situation, Ginsburg recommends telling your child this and coming up with rules that will make you both feel more comfortable.