How to Get Through Your Child's Biting Stage

They bite to feel powerful, to test cause and effect and to have control over their universe. They like the power they feel when they get a big reaction from others. Many of these children benefit from more choices during the course of a day. Giving them more control in other areas of life may mitigate biting behavior.

They bite simply for attention. It is important not to reward the behavior with extra attention.

They bite because they are teething. This is actually one of the most common causes of biting in very young children, particularly when teeth can erupt about every six months until the child is 3. Dr. Arthur Sun, a Lexington dentist, says parents can expect teeth to come in when a child is between 6 and 10 months, then again between 12 to 16 months, then again from 18 to 22 months.

In The Discipline Book (Little, Brown and Co., 1995), Sears writes, "The budding teether longs for something or someone to gnaw on. Offer something cool and hard. Gum-soothing favorites are a cool spoon, Popsicle, frozen bagel, teething ring, and a favorite Sears family teether – a chicken leg bone stripped of the tiny bone slivers. Try cold teething biscuits for another melt-in-the-mouth teether."

Biting at Preschool or Daycare

Sending a child, who is prone to biting, to school or daycare brings more concerns. In daycare settings, a biting incident necessitates the filling out of more forms than any other act of aggression, even though most children under age 6 lack the strength in their jaws to break the skin.

When bites occur, parents may have to sign an injury report, an incident report and, usually, a behavioral form. The state Office of Child Care Services takes biting seriously, causing some schools to take a rigid approach to biting, including sending kids home or to the director's office immediately.

When choosing a daycare, ask about its biting policy. If your child bites, you could be in for an expensive surprise, such as finding alternate daycare while he sits out a suspension. At my son's daycare, when he did it twice more over a three-week period, we were immediately sent home.

In order to help develop a biting policy for the daycare, we called in professional help, including professor Amy Phillips-Losso, Ph.D., of Wheelock College's Early Childhood Education program, to advise the staff. For me, the two weeks out of the school and without pay were tough.