Halloween: Happy or Horrible?

When Make-Believe Causes Real Fears

While Halloween can be fun for children, it can also be confusing as they struggle to distinguish between what is "real" and what is "make believe." For some children, this confusion can interfere with their normal functioning by causing intense fear, difficulty sleeping and nightmares.

According to Jennifer Kittler, Ph.D., a psychologist at Rhode Island's Bradley Hospital, the nation's first psychiatric hospital for kids, "children gradually develop the ability to distinguish between reality and fantasy. Some can make distinctions between 'real' and 'make believe' as early as age 3 or 4, but many children still become confused about this up through the early grade school years."

Parents can help their children make the distinction between reality and fantasy, Kittler says. "Talk to children about the difference and explain that movies and TV shows contain actors who are pretending, just like kids pretend when they play."

Provide examples of things that are real (cars and houses) and things that are not real (monsters and dragons), she continues. "Explain that Halloween is a time for people to have fun by dressing up and pretending."

To help toddlers and preschoolers not be fearful, Kittler suggests that parents try on costumes for their children, showing that they are still their "real selves" underneath the costume or mask.

"Put on and take off a somewhat scary, but not graphic or gory, mask several times to show a young child how the mask works," she says. Let the child practice putting on the mask to learn that the people underneath masks and costumes are familiar and not frightening."

What's Age-Appropriate?

When it comes to Halloween movies and activities, "parents can rely to some extent on movie ratings and age guidelines provided by some haunted houses to determine what is appropriate," Kittler says, "but they should use their child's temperament and behavior as the ultimate guide."

"Children who enjoy novelty and stimulation (like amusement park rides and meeting new people) and who are not typically fearful or easily overwhelmed are more likely to enjoy scary movies and haunted houses than those who tend to be fearful of new situations or slow to warm up to people," Kittler says.