‘Good Divorce’ Brings Hope, Protects Children

Editor’s note: This is the second in a three-part series about divorce and its impact on families.
Part 1, Divorce, A Savage Emotional Journey
Part 3: Part 3: After the Divorce: Practical Advice for Successful Co-Parenting

By Karen West

It was a somber yet joyous gathering. On the day her divorce became final, Susan Moore met with friends at Golden Gardens Park in Seattle. Some brought fresh flowers; others brought candles. They built a fire on the beach and burned sage.

As if cleansing her soul, a friend smudged Moore with a stick of burnt sage. Her eyes welled with tears as she reflected on the impact her divorce would have on her then 4-year-old son.

Through the tears, she picked up her wedding photo and burned it, watching her 10-year marriage literally go up in smoke. Then, with newfound energy, she sprang up and jumped into the icy waters of Puget Sound.

The plunge was part of Moore’s divorce closure ceremony – her way of symbolically marking the end of a marriage and the beginning of a new life. With each splash of the water, Moore says she absolved the anger and bitterness she had felt during her 11-month divorce process. "It was kind of like washing off the muck of the past year," she says.

Moore, 43, is one of a growing number of people across the country embracing alternative, healing ways – such as divorce rituals – to deal with divorce. She is among hundreds of people who are working hard to achieve a "good divorce" by shielding their children from conflict and turning emotional and financial loss into personal gain.