Getting Toddlers & Preschoolers to Share

Sharing Is Caring

By Deirdre Wilson

Veteran parents know that trying to get a toddler or preschooler to share a toy is a little like trying to get the cat off your morning newspaper. Even when you push the issue, you’re met with cries of protest.

That’s because young children are more self-absorbed and care very little about sharing or being fair to others. By age 8, however, most have developed a sense of fairness and are more apt to share.

It’s something you may have noticed in your own children. Now research bears it out. In a recent study published in the scientific journal Nature, Swiss and German researchers looked at the behavior of 229 children during a series of sharing games using jelly beans. In one such game, the children were each offered two jelly beans and asked to choose between keeping both pieces of candy for themselves or splitting the sweets between themselves and a companion.

Among the 3- and 4-year-olds, less than 10 percent chose to share with their companion. Among kids ages 5 to 6, 22 percent chose to split the sweets evenly, and among kids ages 7 to 8, 45 percent chose to share.

Interestingly, the study found that kids were up to 20 percent more likely to share if they knew their companion. Researchers surmised that the human need to associate with and care for their own social group has “deep developmental roots."

Deirdre Wilson is senior editor for Dominion Parenting Media.