Finding the Joy in Your Bundle of Joy

Baby Steps to a Happy Mom

By Carolyn Graham

I still remember that display at Babies ‘R’ Us. It marked the location where I kicked off a series of new-mom meltdowns. This one wasn’t a stark-raving-maniac, tear-through-the-aisles insane kind of event. But as I stared at 14 different strollers, trying to decide whether I needed to pay extra for all-sport wheels or the three-cup “parent beverage tray,” the tears just flowed like spilled breast milk.
If I wasn’t stressing about the gear, then I was ripping into my poor spouse who had the misfortune of mistaking the baby’s pajamas for her day wear. If he was out of range, then I had free time available for worrying about the child’s developmental milestones. I even kept a “poop” diary that first month to make sure that, in my postpartum haze, she was filling her diapers by the book.

Never would I have pictured myself keeping such careful tabs on something so ridiculous. Nor was it “normal” for me to bawl at a department store. And I couldn’t imagine that I’d ever fret about whether my baby was babbling enough (she was and still is). It’s apparent now that I was lost in the worry, emotions and over-the-top hyper-scheduling. It’s a baby, for crying out loud! Isn’t this supposed to be fun?

I vaguely remember my mom and poor beleaguered husband taking me by the hand and trying to convince me to just relax. Thankfully, those reminders – and I needed a few of them – helped me pause long enough to make my baby laugh so hard that she hiccupped. Exhausting midnight feedings also gave me a chance to look deep into her eyes and stock up on peaceful moments.

When Babies ‘R’ Us did its best to overwhelm me with an ungodly variety of baby-bottle nipples, she and I would find a spot in the stuffed animal aisle and chill for a minute.