Family Man: Sweet Rewards

In the morning, my kids find my stash of Fruit Loops® and beg for a bowl.

“We eat only healthy cereal in the morning,” I respond.

“I hate healthy,” Benjamin, 7, says. “I promise not to ask for anything sweet tonight.”

“Maybe later,” I reason, mad that I didn’t hide the cereal better.

Jacob, 3, shouts, “I waaaant Fwoot Looooops nowwww!” He slumps below the table and fakes a good cry.

I pick him up, saying, “Some bugs got into the box and now it’s disgusting.”

Both my kids stare at me. Benjamin says, “You’re telling a fib.”

That’s when I pull out Toucan Sam’s best and pour two small helpings.

At a restaurant for lunch, my children refuse to eat their grilled cheese, opting to slurp the cup of lemonade the pleasant server keeps refilling.

“If you don’t eat the sandwiches, there will be no sundaes,” I warn.

The kids spout “it’s-not-fair” comments before they submit to nibble their cheese with the enthusiasm of prom queens dancing with the school nerd.

Later, I return from the bathroom to find the boys gobbling ice cream.

“They never finished their food,” I tell my wife.

Wendy frowns, struggling to nurse Baby Ari with some decorum at the table. “They wore me down,” she sighs.

At dinner, Jacob announces his dessert choice the moment his bow-tie pasta hits the placemat.

“I’m having Shrek fruit snacks,” he says.

“Eat your meal, then we’ll discuss dessert,” I command.

“I want cookie-dough ice cream,” Benjamin offers.

Jacob starts up again: “I want ice cream AND Shrek fruit snacks …”

Our issues with sweets didn’t begin this way. More than six years ago, when Benjamin started on solid food, Wendy and I kept refined sugar out of his diet like health-food militants. We were so successful that he wailed for extra broccoli, thinking the vegetable was actually a dessert.

By the time Benjamin learned to walk, and could snag M&Ms® from dishes at friends’ homes, our days as sugar fascists ended. We couldn’t fight the birthday parties of cake and favor bags full of Dum Dums®, nor could we deny sweets-bearing grandparents. Once Jacob came along, he was consuming chocolate bundt cake for breakfast even before his first birthday.

We still attempt to limit the sugar – we ration Halloween treats ’til December – but we give in a lot, partly because we accept the short-term happiness provided by sweets. We also have our own habits, formed by candy-filled childhoods.