Family Man™: My Children Are Aliens

By Gregory Keer


 






Please listen carefully. I may not have much time. You see, I believe my children are alien invaders who have taken over my life – and may soon conquer the planet. Now, imagine if you will the evidence.


 


A Case of “Lost in Space”?


I have noticed a significant upturn in lost items since my children arrived. Watches, important notes and eyeglasses go missing – often never to be returned. Have they been transferred to another dimension? And with the eyeglasses, are they targeted because my kids do not want me to see their dastardly plans?


 


Jacob, 2-1/2, seems to misplace his own things, sometimes within the space of a minute. Blankets, sippy cups and “special rocks” go poof on such a regular basis that I know it’s intended to drive me insane.


 


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