Confessions of Stay-at-Home Dads

Dads on Duty

By Brad Kane

My solution was simple in theory, if not in practice. The dogs needed to go outside, and I couldn’t leave my 7-month-old daughter alone in the house while I walked them. So, I strapped baby Maggie to my chest using her special carrier and hooked the three dogs to their separate leashes for a walk around the block. It was one of those beautiful October afternoons in New England.

I couldn’t have walked the dogs individually – as my wife later suggested – or just taken them out to the front yard while staying in sight of my daughter in the house. Instead, 10 minutes into that walk, I had a screaming baby who left me a squishy surprise in her pants; three dogs who decided it would be fun to interweave their leashes with my legs; and two bags full of dog waste, which, by the way, is an adventure to pick up when you are carrying an infant and have 130 pounds of dog pulling you apart. If a squirrel had crossed our path, I would have been done for.

I’m a stay-at-home dad. My approach to the challenges faced by all parents is often creative, full of rookie mistakes and can get me into some precarious situations.

It also gets the job done. That October walk may have been quite the scene to the neighbors, but the dogs got their exercise and Maggie was no worse for wear.

Of the 5.5 million American families with a stay-at-home parent, according to the United States Census, only 2.5 percent include a stay-at-home father, which explains why when one of us goes to the park or a play class, there don’t tend to be other adult males around.

Being surrounded by babies and women, by the way, gets a little weird and a little lonely; but it isn’t so bad because you’re there to watch your child play, not hit on a hot mom.

While some stay-at-home dads are like Peter Baylies, 52, of North Andover, Massachusetts, who had significant childcare experience as a camp counselor before his two sons were born, most of us – like most fathers – are learning as we go when it comes to rearing children.

Roy Van Cleef, 29, had never really spent time alone with a child before Shea, now 7 months old, was born. Dean Starbuck Bragonier, 36, held a baby for the first time only four months before his son Bodhi came into this world. And I had only ever changed one diaper before Maggie provided me with the chance to perfect my skills several times each day.