Choosing a Doctor When You've Suffered a Pregnancy Loss

Q. My husband and I lost our baby due to a cord accident a year ago and after a lot of mourning and soul-searching we are ready to try again. We’ve moved to a new city and I need to find a doctor to handle my next pregnancy. I want someone with both medical knowledge and an understanding of my emotional state. How do I go about finding this doctor?

A. If you attend a support group for couples who have experienced a pregnancy loss, you could start out by asking the group leader or other couples in the group for their recommendations. Another good place to call for advice is the maternity department of your local hospital. Labor and delivery nurses work with obstetricians on a daily basis and are often willing to share their insights with those who ask. If you live in a city with a major medical school, you can also check with the maternal-fetal medicine department.

It is probably not a good idea to ask someone who has not had a loss for a referral. I say that because you will have very special needs in your next pregnancy, and it is important to find a doctor who understands those needs. Given your history of loss, a woman who has had an uncomplicated pregnancy is not in the best position to evaluate which doctor is best for you.

Once you have narrowed down your list of referrals to one or two physicians, schedule a consultation to get acquainted. The first meeting will give you insight into the doctor’s bedside manner and his/her attitudes towards your special needs. I suggest writing out your questions ahead of time so that you don’t forget something important. Here are some of the things you should be sure to ask.

Are unscheduled visits to check the baby’s heartbeat okay?
Since you have experienced the tragedy of losing a baby, you will need extra reassurance in your next pregnancy. A doctor who is sensitive to your needs will not mind if you want to drop by on occasion to check fetal heart tones, especially in the early weeks before you can feel movement.

Can you see the same doctor even though the practice is large?
If you are fortunate enough to find a doctor you like, you probably will feel better if you can see him/her for most of your prenatal visits. Is the doctor willing to accommodate you whenever possible?

Will the doctor take non-emergency calls?
Most obstetricians have a nurse on staff who can handle phone calls from patients, but there may be times when only the doctor will do. Find out whether you will have the opportunity to ask questions between appointments.

How aggressive does the doctor plan to be in monitoring the pregnancy?

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