Bonding with Kids Through Play

For many parents, it’s hard to play games they didn’t grow up playing. Because of this, moms and dads generally revert to traditional gender roles – dads roughhouse and play catch, while moms do art and play dolls. “I always encourage parents to extend their boundaries a bit,” says Cohen.

Many parents tense up without realizing it, notes Greenspan. “Relax and play things you like, too. Don’t feel like you need to make something happen during play. Instead, try to follow your child’s natural interests. Let your child direct.”

If your child isn’t asking you to play, prompt her with, “Let’s play.” Or simply join in with whatever your child is playing. As play becomes more routine in your family life, you’ll find it can also ease the stress of parenting, says Cohen. In Playful Parenting, he discusses ways to incorporate playfulness into daily life to effectively deal with issues such as tantrums, anxiety, sibling rivalry and even rebellious teen behavior.

While there’s no magic number of hours that you should play with your child, experienced parents learn that playtime is time well spent.

“As bored as I was many times when we sat playing with all those micro machines and action figures, I wouldn’t trade a moment of it,” says Diamond, whose oldest son is now 16. “He still comes to me all the time and wants my input since he knows I’m truly interested. I really believe that has come from the tremendous amount of time we have spent together in all kinds of play and activity over the last 16 years.”

RESOURCES

Building Healthy Minds: The Six Experiences That Create Intelligence and Emotional Growth in Babies and Young Children, by Stanley Greenspan, M.D., Perseus Publishing, 2000. Emphasizes the importance of parent-child play in a child’s development.

Make Your Own Preschool Games, by Sally Goldberg, Ph.D., Perseus Publishing, 2002. Offers quick, low-cost activities that use materials found in most homes.

Playful Parenting, byLawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D., Ballantine, 2002. Packed with parenting theory and tips for every type of play you can imagine, this book is loaded with anecdotes sure to encourage parents.

Zero to Three  A primer on play, including theory and concrete tips.

Mimi Slawoff is a freelance writer and the mother of three.