7 Tips to Handling Tantrums in Public

By Diane Gottsman

We've all experienced it - the dreaded tantrum in a public place. Little Susie Q is screaming at the top of her lungs while an assortment of disapproving eyes are all focused on you. The pressure is on. You feel certain that there are few people who want you to wallop her, while others have their finger on the speed dial to report you to the police if you even lift a finger to correct her. Add to these concerns, your feelings of humiliation and distress over doing something that could jeopardize your child's self-esteem for the rest of her life. (So much drama over the decision to not let Susie have a fourth doughnut before lunch!)

Fear not, you are not alone. There is no foolproof method that works for everyone every single time. There are, however, a few tips for handling a tantrum with a little decorum.

1. Put your child's needs first.
It is tempting to worry about what "everyone else is thinking," but make eye contact with your child and let her know you are "present" to the situation.

2. Don't make jokes.
This is not the time to try and cajole her back to a calm state. If she is shrieking and thrashing around on the floor, put your grocery basket in reverse, tell the checker you will return another time, and physically walk out of the store with Susie in tow. Sometimes a different environment is all it takes to calm a child down. If she doesn't calm down, leave … quickly.

3. Don't make empty threats.
If you say, "Susie, if you don't stop screaming, we will not go to the park," you must follow through - even if it means you must forego the possibility of getting a glowing tan while spending a little time with your mom friends. You must be consistent with your words.

4. Apologize to bystanders while you attempt to gingerly make your way out the door.
You need not gush, simply say, "I'm sorry, we are having a difficult morning."