5 Important Discussions To Have Before You Have A Baby

By Courtney Drake-McDonough

Your future little bundle of joy means a big bundle of questions to ask yourselves about finances, discipline, the in-laws and more. Many couples assume they’re on the same page on the important issues, only to find out when the going gets tough that they are going in different directions. Here are five important topics for couples to discuss (and try to agree upon) before bringing home baby:

1 Finances: How will we afford this child?

Many people want to wait until they are financially ready to have a child, a time that may never come. "Don’t give too much credence to the (concept that) it takes $200,000-$300,000 to get a child to the age of maturity," says Barbara de Jong, a financial advisor with Edward Jones in Denver. Children can be adequately fed, clothed, equipped and educated even on a budget.

De Jong advocates creating a budget that clearly delineates between "need" and "want".  "It’s a rare family that won’t find itself needing to reduce or eliminate one or more of those discretionary want expenses," says de Jong. She also suggests trying to live on one salary during pregnancy to better prepare to either have one parent stay home or meet the added expense of childcare.

As for future college costs, de Jong and many other financial advisors say saving for retirement is more important than saving for a child’s college education. College can be financed through loans and potentially scholarships. Retirement can’t.

2 Childcare: Who will take care of the child?

Who can you possibly trust to take care of your child all day long? That depends on your philosophies, finances and the stability of your job.

If one of you stays home with the child, which one will it be? Or will it be a nanny, family-member or daycare center? Have a plan in place well before baby is born. Compare the costs and check your budget. Make sure the philosophies of the person or program jive with yours. This is especially important if it’s going to be a family-member where complex issues may arise.

3 Extended family: How will we keep them all happy?

Oh, what a tangled but wonderful web family weaves! The key is to be a little selfish, so you aren’t pulled in different directions. Decide how you want to spend vacations, holidays and other special occasions, then work family around that. Some families create a rotating system where one side gets one holiday and the other gets another one, switching the next year, for example.