10 Ways That Parents Can Help Their Sons

By Georgia Orcutt

1 Let his imagination soar.
"If you are going to be the parent of a boy, you have to learn to trust his childhood fantasies and stories and those of his friends, even if they are not to your taste," advises psychologist Michael Thompson.

2 Moms: tune out!
"Boys talk about who’s boss and who’s not, who’s best and what matters most, relentlessly and competitively, whether the topic is athletes, action figures, video games, or the members of their own boy pack. … Mothers often perceive [it] as ‘bad’ or immature and reflexively attempt to interrupt it, stop it, or steer the conversation in a different direction," says Thompson, who adds that this aggressive talk simply helps boys establish an all-important hierarchy.

3 Promote spontaneous play.
"Do everything in your power to allow boys to play with other boys in as free and unstructured a way as you possibly can," Thompson urges. "Help to create a safe neighborhood, talk to other parents about the need of boys to play, and give your support to any activities that will give boys time just to be together."

4 Don’t try to toughen up little boys.
"I do object to fathers who believe that little boys, who are acutely sensitive to their father’s opinion of them, need to be toughened up with harsh discipline or tough lessons," Thompson notes. " Life will toughen up all boys. … If a father tries to toughen up a preschooler, either by frightening him or humiliating him, the fear of the father that results may last for a long time."

5 Look closely at preschools.
Experts on boys’ needs are not opposed to preschool for boys, just the trend toward more academics in early education, which they believe does more harm than good for boys. "Before you enroll, visit the school," recommends education journalist Peg Tyre. "Put your anxieties about college acceptance aside, and make sure the curriculum is play-based and not too academic."