10 Talents of Parenting: Connection

Focusing on Relationship to Ease Power Struggles with Your Child

 

This is the eighth in our series of articles on nurturing the 10 Talents of Parenting.

By Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D.

 

When my daughter was just starting kindergarten, we had big battles over getting dressed. She would whine, "I can't get dressed by myself, you have to help me." I knew perfectly well she could get dressed on her own - she had been doing it for months - so I found this very aggravating. But guess who always wins a power struggle like this? I could never prove that she could dress herself, but she could easily prove that she couldn't!

 

One day, in desperation, I picked up two bears from her bed and made one of them say, in a goofy voice, "She can't get dressed by herself, she's only 5 years old!"

 

Then I had the other one say, "Oh, yes, she can! She is Emma! She can do anything!"

 

Emma giggled, so I kept going. I had the snide bear say, "She doesn't even know her pants from her shirt!"

 

Emma put on her pants and said, "Look!"

 

The bear turned around and said, "Oh, your Dad must have helped you." The encouraging bear said, "Oh, no, he didn't, she did it all by herself!"







The 10 Talents of Parenting


     ="http://www.parenthood.com/article-topics/article-topics.php?Article_ID=9385">Playfulness
     ="http://www.parenthood.com/article-topics/article-topics.php?Article_ID=9417">Responsiveness
="http://www.parenthood.com/article-topics/article-topics.php?Article_ID=9504">       Emotional Balance
="http://www.parenthood.com/article-topics/article-topics.php?Article_ID=9550">       Understanding/Empathy
="http://www.parenthood.com/article-topics/article-topics.php?Article_ID=9592">       Reflection
="http://www.parenthood.com/article-topics/article-topics.php?Article_ID=9640">       Resolution
="http://www.parenthood.com/article-topics/article-topics.php?Article_ID=9672">       Self-Acceptance

Articles Tools

Top