3 Resolutions for Parents

Losing weight, exercising more and eating less are worthy New Year’s resolutions. But for parents, what could be more worthy than checking in on how we parent and vowing to improve that? We’ve got three basic resolutions for moms and dads: Be more positive, more consistent and more patient. Learn how you can evaluate yourself and make changes for the better.

Promise to be positive.

Recognize good behavior and good attitude. This sounds so easy, but it takes a stronger resolution than quitting smoking or losing weight. Looking for good behavior in your children is not easy because many of us were not taught this by our parents. Many of us were conditioned as young children to pay attention to the negative. Turn this around. Look for things your children say and do correctly. Pay attention to correct behavior, not misbehavior. Reinforce polite requests, not whining, teasing, and tantrums. Reinforce calm discussions, not arguments and power struggles. Focus on the positive attitudes and behavior in your children.

Use plenty of encouragement, especially when you see that your children may be discouraged or frustrated. When you encourage your children, they will see that you have faith and confidence in them. Talk with your children on ways to be successful. Encouragement will help your children face situations with more confidence. Remember that children believe what you tell them, so call attention to positive qualities.

Use encouragement that aims at self-reward. "You made the right choice because you knew it was the correct thing to do. I hope you feel good about yourself." It is okay for children to behave to please their parents. It is better when they behave and to please themselves. Don't just do the right thing because someone is dangling a carrot in front of you. Do the right thing because it is the right thing to do. When you do the right thing -- when you make good decisions -- when you behave in a responsible manner -- you feel good. You learn to value yourself. We have drifted far away from this philosophy in our society. We need to remind our children of the true value of responsibility. If you can accomplish this lesson with your children, you will be giving them a precious gift that will be a treasure for their entire lifetime.